re·spon·si·bil·i·ty
noun
the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.
| synonyms: | authority, control, power, leadership
“a job with greater responsibility” |
the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.
“the group has claimed responsibility for a string of murders”
| synonyms: | blame, fault, guilt, culpability, liability
“they denied responsibility for the bomb attack” |
the opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization.
“we would expect individuals lower down the organization to take on more responsibility”
As a divorced mom, my daily routine includes making decisions for my children and their future endeavors. I use all the information I have and investigate every option of each situation and include my children in the decision process. We go over the pros and cons and move forward. This responsibility is great because at the end of the day I deal with the outcome.
So, why this conversation? Let me explain…. It takes two people to create a child and even if that relationship does not last the responsibility should still be shared equally. As the custodial parent I, of course, am in the presence of my children all the time, but t=does that mean the non-custodial parent should have no contact or be a part of everyday living? I think is a choice, not one made by the children but by the parent. I have maintained a home phone (which I do not need in this day and age) just to provide a way of communication without me.
With all of that said, does the communication happen?? NO!! And the reason I am given is “They don’t call me”. WTF…. what kind of crap is that. We are talking about children, ages 3 and 7, now 9 and 13.
Now my dilemma, Am I wrong not to call and inform of every decision that we make? Let me digress a little. My kiddos are very active and involved in several things and also have big dreams. I have supported and guided their steps to achieve ALL of their endeavors mentally, physically and financially BY MYSELF.
My daughter is an aspiring actress and model. We have trained with professional models and actors (at a cost$$) to get her where she is now. She has walked in NYFW, several fashion shows throughout the states and just earned IMDB credits for her role in a short film. She is currently auditioning for new productions and has decided to also pursue a clothing line.
My son plays travel basketball and is an aspiring musician. I have discovered that “he as bars” or in layman’s terms can rap. Anyone familiar with these two talents knows that the cost is high to get started and maintain but the outcome is great. My son has attended the CP3 Middle School Combine, invited to play with his team at the jrNBA World Championship and invited to Phenom America’s 150 camp for rising high schoolers. He will be in the studio this summer recording his first 5 tracks, started a custom design T-Shirt business and with his sister decided to pursue a clothing line.
Back to my dilemma, Why does a person feel they are entitled to be a part of any decision or any final outcome when you had nothing to do with the process? When you are aware of all the extracurricular activities they are involved with but do not ask or contribute at all. Never a call to say do you need funds to help with acting class? Do you need me to take one of them somewhere? Nothing….. Just proud of the fact that you pay child support every two weeks.
Well, my perspective is this. Hell No!! Not with a big ego or conceit, just true facts… I spend countless nights and days finding opportunities that align with these kiddos dreams and goals, I invest everything I have, and then some, into making these opportunities possible and I deal with the mental and physical training of these Superstars. Your response….”Well, you guys make your decisions without me”… we sure do, when you do not take the time to be a part of everyday living we do not have the time or desire to consult you on decisions we make.
At the end of the day, these kiddos are happy, healthy, living their dreams, setting goals and accomplishing them, respectful and responsible. I support them 365 days of every year…. And that means “I Pay the Cost to Be the BOSS”.
Unapologetically D
